I let my boyfriend answer it and eavesdropped from the kitchen.
Online: 5 days ago
We have support from our friends, except for 1 that has been very nasty to me because she said, 'I am too Old! He and I get on well and are discussing marriage. I have never been married and I am lonely and sad about a future without him. My friend say I should find a man my own age.
Listen Now - Marriage Builders Radio. Print Thread. My 24 yr old son has been seeing a woman about 12 yrs older than him.
I think she is about I don't feel good about this relationship even though I have not met the woman. I have lots of questions. I am trying to challenge myself to be open to accepting it if this relationship continues to grow to the point of marriage. All I can see is problems down the road. When I think of myself with a man that much older than me right now I don't like the picture and I can only think it would be worse with the woman being older.
I know it probably isn't very PC. I always thought I'd hate to be his mom They are obviously from different generations. I can not see it working long term. Why didn't you stop the relationship before it got too serious? I think relationships are difficult as it is without having this strike against it before you even get started. Nelly, how does that friend's MIL feel about their marriage?
I think my son may not have realized the age difference when they met. Then he was probably flattered that an older woman would find him mature enough or would be attracted to him. He had a friend that married an older woman with children. He and all his friends didn't see what he saw in her.
Why do younger men seek older women?
I thought his friend was the rescuing type. He had a mother who was an alcoholic. He passed away last year. While out on night my daughter asked his friends if they knew where her brother was If he isn't proud to have his GF around his friends, if he isn't proud of her enough to introduce her to his family then isn't there something that would be such a negative to eventually cause problems? I know nothing about her. I don't know her history.
I know my son had a girlfriend he was in love with cheated on him with a friend and he was very hurt.
The attraction to older women?
That was about 3 or 4 yrs ago now. I think he got a bit callous after that to protect his heart.
Maybe he thinks that an older woman wouldn't hurt him like that. I probably irrationally wonder what I did wrong that he is looking for a replacement mother. I wonder what is wrong with her that she hasn't had a successful relationship by this age with someone her own age. I don't even know if she's been married before. So much of my mental gymnastics and anguish have to do with unknowns and just possible scenarios.
I have often had to remind myself that much of what I spend energy worrying about and fretting about usually doesn't come out as bad as I expect. I have to battle being a glass half empty type of person.
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He has his Dad's example of infidelity going against him. This coupled with his own experience with betrayal may effect him in any relationship no matter age difference. I read on GQII Everhopeful's experience with her husband of 14 yrs who is also 15 yrs younger than her now thinking that she is too old for him.
Anyway,that is one of the excuses he gives for his A with a woman his age. I wouldn't want that to happen once children are involved. I just want to spare him and her potential pain. But I know I can't do that so I want to prepare myself to feel better with it and learn to accept it without so much judgement. It doesn't feel possible at this point. My wife is about 7 years older than me. The problems we have are unrelated to this age gap. My first wife was two years younger than me. I've dated women as much as 7 years my junior and 10 years my senior.
My cousin is married to a woman who is 15 years his senior and they've been together since he was just 19 now My grandfather was 21 years older than my grandmother. They were happily married until his passing. I believe age is irrelevent within reason so long as the couple is compatible.
But I also have to say that I think your post has some DJs in it. Background: My husband and I met just after he turned 26, and I was about to turn So about 7 years difference. We got engaged a year later, and married a year after that.
Our son turned one in May. We are happily married. Well, I did find men my age. Some were off-limits. I dated quite a few. A couple of those cheated on me. I also dated a couple of slightly older guys. What would be an acceptable age difference to you? Had I known how old my H was when I met him I found out laterI might have hesitated at getting involved.
But wow, what a sad mistake that would have been. Neither did my husband.
Re: older women with younger men
And things were going great—why throw away such a wonderful relationship? I met my H and fell in love with him, and he fell in love with me. By that time, I was pretty crazy about him, and willing to give it a shot. Truthfully, the lifestyle differences between my H and I were a bigger concern than our age difference. And we worked them out, too. He is And if the relationship fails, there will be plenty of reasons why, only one of which might be the age difference.
I hope this helps. Martes [ October 05,PM: Message edited by: martes36 ].
Mav, Do you think that your cousin still isn't bothered at all by the age different? At 55 yrs old she must appear that much older than him. I tend to think that the woman being older than the man is more noticable.
‘do they really think i'm his mother?’: life with a younger, hotter boyfriend
I have an aunt that was 6 years older than my Uncle. My grandmother was never happy about that as well as the fact that she was not of Italian decent but German. She outlived my uncle who died at She is now 91 and still going strong.
I'm still trying to find something to feel good about in this.
You think that if they are compatible then that is enough. Will it always be enough? I may be just being shallow and none PC in my bias against age differences over about 5 yrs. I would prefer him to find a younger woman than older. I know I really have no say. Part of me longs for the days of arranged marriages, I guess.
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I am 7 years older than my H. We got married last year. I believe your question is really why didn't I select a man closer to the same age, rather than "couldn't find one. The age difference is no issue for us.
If he isn't proud to have his GF around his friends Sounds like your son is turning into a fine, young man I don't think it's a lack of pride.