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So Frenchy, so chic. Photo: Instagram Source:Whimn. Somehow, somewhere in the mid '00s, French women became the ne plus ultra of life goals. Suddenly, women as a collective seemed to decide that yes, they'd really rather be French sil-vous-plait and no, they have no problem wearing exclusively horizontal stripes and red lipstick and never paying for a gym membership - French women don't work out, didn't you know that? Sabine Socol, editor at French magazine L'Officiel.
A flurry of books raced into publication promising to help you become a Parisian "no matter where you are". Brands like French Girl Organics offered to help you achieve the effortless no-makeup-makeup look of, um, French girls. Damas has a clothing brand called Rouje which retails exclusively tweed blazers, sexy little wrap dresses and suede ankle boots. It's a racket. A big, booming, billion-dollar racket. Could the French girl myth help you land a boyfriend? Mon DieuI scoffed when I saw the book title.
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What, I thought, am I going to be told to go out with messy hair, eat lots of cheese, drink lots of wine and always have sex on the first date? Photo: Penguin Source:Whimn. However, being extremely and practically professionally single, as I most definitely am, it certainly couldn't hurt to read the damn thing and see what I might be able to get out of it.
As my editor Daniela jokingly - and in fallacious, very bad French - always says: ' Les beggars cannot be les choisiers. There it was, in crisp, resolute black and white on of the book: "French women don't date. Instead, author Jamie Cat Callan explains, French women like to meet men at dinner parties, after which they will "go for a walk or meet in the park and enjoy a casual picnic.
French women don’t date: the french dating system explained
I sent out a frantic text to a bunch of friends. I'm on a time limit and I need to meet a man. Alas, reader, no-one was hosting a dinner party, but a friend of mine was cooking pancakes for her children on Sunday. There wasn't a single man to be seen at the brunch, but I did eat a delicious breakfast.
It was a pas tres bien start to this experiment, even by my own poor standards in this fieldbut Cat Callan - herself half-French and the bestselling author of several French lifestyle guides - had some other suggestions that proved easier to follow. Parisian Charm School 's central thesis is thus: Of all the weapons in a woman's arsenal, being charming is the most potent. Mystery, flirtation, style: They're all bywords for charm.
Some of Cat Callan's suggestions for adding charm to your life were silly, like her exhortation to appear as intelligent as possible and wear glasses - even fake ones, with no lenses in them - to charm people. Others, like the fact that you should read as much as possible, were a cinch. Time to get reading. But you mustn't stay at woman and read in your pyjamas - how are you going to meet a man there, hmm?
Park benches are good, she says, as are cafes. If it's rainy, you can settle for the library if you must. Since it's summer in Sydney, I opted for the beach, and tucked a much-loved, dog-eared copy of Daniel Silva's A Death In Vienna about artist turned crack Mossad assassin Gabriel Allon into my string bag. Cat Callan datings that reading helps you identify what you are looking for in a man, and thus, you can begin to frequent the places where such a man might patronise. Judging by my eclectic reading tastes, I'm either looking for a wayward, rogueish British aristocrat or a ruthless Jewish spy with a surprisingly sensitive soul and a taste for Italian food.
I have no site french to find either of those men, but as I was reading A Death In Vienna stretched out on my beach towel, a man called out to ask me whether it was any good, and we had a minute conversation about the demise of the old-fashioned espionage thriller.
He was in his 70s, but hey, ' Les beggars cannot be les choisiers'right? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But it's worth noting that Cat Callan's suggestion of reading out in the open to invite men to strike up a conversation had worked! This is how French women meet men, Cat Callan says, not on the teeming cesspool that is dating apps but through chance, charming encounters.
With online dating apps and plenty of social events, finding love in france has never been so easy – or fun. as valentine’s day approaches, we look at the online and offline options available when it comes to dating in france
They do this by bringing 'things' into their lives, she explains. Take dance, for example. Taking up lessons could quite literally hurl you into the arms of a tall, dark, handsome stranger. Language is good too, for the same reasons.
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Travel helps to expand your horizons, and your little black book. But flowers, most of all, will help you meet men. Seriously, there's a whole chapter on flowers, where Cat Callan recounts her experience one day of carrying a bunch of lillies around Paris that quite literally drove the men wild. Men stopped her in the street to pay the flowers compliments, admire the arrangement and mansplain the particular kind of lily to her.
Cat Callan suggests that "carrying a big bouquet of flowers, or a lace parasol, or a guitar, or a basket of apples, or a puppy" down the street will open you up to the kind of sensory, charming encounter that could turn into a romantic one. The kind of experience you will never get on a dating app. Take a bunch of flowers with you.
Dubiously, I purchased a bunch of flowers from the supermarket and started to walk slowly - sauntering, in what I hoped was a French manner - down the street. Not a single person came up to me. But when I got home, I had a beautiful bunch of sunny blooms for my bedside table that made me smile every time I looked at them.
Ultimately, the conclusion of Parisian Charm School is a surprisingly simple one.
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Embrace the idea that you have all the time in the world, because your love story will unfold in its own special way. It's this radical notion that is the most French of all, really. All my friends seem to be in the midst of that mids race to the altar, a race in which I am so handicapped I haven't even started lacing up my shoes. What Cat Callan and the French way of dating suggest, however, is to take your time. Sit in a park and read a book. Eat the cheese. Take time off work and go travelling.
Broaden your mind and pursue your interests.
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Love isn't a race. France has the lowest per-capita rate of marriages in Europe, and in Paris more than a third of all people live alone. So while I might not be adopting some of Cat Callan's stranger suggestions - the one about speaking in a husky voice and refraining from swearing just isn't for me - I will be employing this French idea of taking my time to heart. I'll buy flowers, I'll read books, and I'll see what happens.
C'est la vie! Whimn January 5, pm. Leave a comment.
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