January 6, Dear Methodist University Community, In early August of — the first week of what would become the most unusual semester in higher education that many of us have ever experienced — I shared these words with …. Do you have a passion …. Why should I come to the Writing Center?
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And, in recent years, online incel culture has given us a new one His physical prowess, stunning good looks, bountiful riches and overwhelming self-confidence mean he has a steady stream of willing, desirable sexual partners at his disposal.
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Of course, if you lined up every guy in the world and ranked them from most to least successful at dating, there would be some wildly successful guys at the front of the line. But what percentage of guys has this essentially frictionless dating experience?
What percentage of guys never gets rejected or dumped despite asking people out constantly? What percentage are handsome, muscular, rich, confident and successful all at once? Sure, there are guys with tons of success and guys with none, but much more common is, well, everything in between.
Every guy who looks like a stereotypical Chad from a distance was probably someone who struggled at least a little bit in the early going. You become good at dating not by divine right, but with practice and self-improvement.
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If the person on the receiving end of that advice has spent time struggling to make anything work, how easy or simple can it realistically be? There are two schools of thought here.
Of course, you can fake it until you make it. The other option?
Debunking the chad myth
Besides the evil Ch waiting to steal away anyone you might have a crush on, another big lie that incels tell themselves is that their celibacy is a permanent condition. The truth is, every person is in flux.
So why not make your future self someone other people will be excited to date? At a loss about where to start?
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Sketch out a plan for self-improvement. Bone up on fashion tips so you can start dressing better. Hit the gym and get in better shape. Get on your hustle and try to push your career forward a bit. Perhaps most important, put some work into you.
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Meaning, try going to therapy. You might be one of those guys who thinks that kind of thing is just for weirdos, psychos and freaks; you might be one of those guys who thinks that kind of thing is for people going through something serious. But even a handful of therapy sessions can prove incredibly helpful for just about any person. Knowing the person on the other side of the table from you has a modicum of self-awareness and groundedness is a big turn-on.
The ball is in your court.
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