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When I was 5 years old, I was in love with my next door neighbor, David. He was charming and funny, older than me, smart, close in proximity, had blonde hair, and his mom always let me stay for dinner. The whole package really. I want to say he liked me back—I mean, he kissed me, and I feel like that means like-like, right? But the second anyone came around, he called me ugly and fat and made jokes about me. And this is how most of my relationships have gone over the years.

Name: Bernadette
What is my age: I'm 34 years old

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in. When I was younger, I used to get extremely butt hurt because of the dreaded friend zone, but this is the best thing to ever happen to you.

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Knowing what these other dudes are doing when it comes to online dating puts you at a big advantage because you can easily navigate the waters when you shoot that first message. Aside from that, having female friends is great because you can run messages passed them before you send them and get advice in different dating scenarios.

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This is why I have no time to complain about how God or the universe or whatever gave me a terrible metabolism and a love for foods that are terrible for me. For the love of God, read their profile.

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Remember how I was just saying how you can capitalize in other areas? Well, this is one of them. Any guy who does this either has a massive ego, is extremely lazy or a combination of the two.

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Just about any woman who is a good dating option completely ignores these types of messages. You need to understand that women get thirsty messages from dudes all day every day on these apps, so your message will be a breath of fresh air.

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Sure, there are many women looking for the next Ryan Gosling, but many of them are so tired of dating d-bags just looking to hook up that gives you an opportunity. This is why you need to develop a personality and not be boring. The best way you can do this is by simply being interested and asking questions.

Many women have been in an endless cycle of talking with self-obsessed dudes who think their shirtless profile pic should be good enough to seal the deal. Did I mention ask questions?

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Because you need to ask questions. Nothing kills a conversation quicker than declarative sentences.

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This was a term one of my female friends introduced me to, which stands for Secret Internet Fatty. This happens all the time.

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I always had one awful pic on my profile. Maybe it was from a bad angle or a pic of my full body.

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Plus, it weeds out anyone who is too shallow to appreciate you in your entirety I suggest ladies do this too. If you follow at least some of these tips, I guarantee your dating life will get a lot better. If you struggle with confidence or your mental health in general, I highly recommend the service I use, BetterHelp. For more mental health blogs, check out www.

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Books available at www. Get started.

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Open in app. The Rewired Soul. in Get started. Get started Open in app. Read Their Profile For the love of God, read their profile.

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More from The Rewired Soul Follow. More From Medium. The Harsh Reality of Online Dating. Thom Gallet in Mind Cafe. Toxic Or Terrific?

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Tessa Schlesinger. Nicole Kenney in Tingly Mind. How to Recover When a Friendship Ends. Linda Smith in The Startup.

My partners treat our relationship like a secret.

Audrey in Mind Cafe. Tesia Blake. About Help Legal.